Part 6: The Kiss

At the end of the day, the three of us went to a trail off the beaten path and continued on with our conversations. We decided to call it a night well after midnight. As we parked the car, Joe said he wasn’t feeling very well. I told him I was going to smoke with her then head to bed. “If I’ve got a shot, it’s likely now or never. Wish me luck.”

“Let’s smoke,” I said as I caught up with her. She agreed and we moved to an area away from the tents that was also covered from the ridiculous spotlight put in place by my unit. As we stood there talking and smoking, I could feel something was about to happen. I didn’t want to be aggressive in the situation, but I wanted to kiss her. My leg began to shake. Calm had just disappeared out the window. I’m pretty sure the smile couldn’t have been chiseled off my face. Ok, cool is probably gone too. Collected was all I had left.

If I went for it and got rejected, that too would have been gone. I would have been embarrassed and completely shied away from the office for a while. Then it hit me, ‘what if I go to kiss her, and she goes with it, but it’s not what she wants?’ Does that mean I would have put her in an awkward place where she feared for her concern? All this scrambled through my mind as I tried to keep up with the conversation.

My legs were shaking, but I wasn’t moving. I let her move. I had to see if she was giving me the green light. All I needed was the green light and I was going for it. But I didn’t have to make a move at all. She went for it! I was pretty sure my leg was going to start anything earthquake, but my jubilation was not containable. As she kissed me, my head swirled in euphoria. I felt a high that no drug can possibly duplicate. I felt a tingling in my stomach that could only be butterflies that palpated in time with the rapid flutter of my heart. Her lips were pressed to mine and I could feel how perfectly our lips conjoined. Nothing else in the world existed at that moment. There was no earthquake. There weren’t several hundred troops sleeping within 200 meters. We weren’t on a deployment. There was only her and I.

We spent several hours that night kissing; neither of us getting much sleep before work the next day.

Part 5: Best and Most Unique Date Ever (2 of 2)

While driving through the city, she developed the need to use a bathroom. Fortunately for her, we were in a country that is considered third-world by all accounts that is in a post-earthquake period with a decimated infrastructure. Did I mention that neither of us speaks Creole? Joe tried to find a bathroom in this neighborhood; if he didn’t, she would have to make like the Haitians pee in the street. Joe managed to find a local boy that spoke enough English to understand what we needed. As a chivalrous gentleman, I went with her to stand guard. Hey, I saw an unarmed female about to enter a local house to use a bathroom in a part of town that I was just not sure of. My intentions were pure, damnit.

I was glad I went for a couple reasons. First, the door didn’t shut all the way. Second, I got to talk with the locals. The little boy, maybe 12, started asking me questions:

“How do you like Haiti?”

“Very nice country,” I said.

“I like America.”

“I do too!”

“Is she your girlfriend?” At this point, I was glad she was in the bathroom because I blushed. The bad part was I had a feeling she was listening.

“No, she’s not my girlfriend.”

“Oh, ok.”

As we left, I couldn’t help but to smile the whole way back to the car. We handed out what little water we had to the locals and preceded on to find a place to get some food. Some parts of the city were not hit as bad as others. Then again, some places were completely flattened and destroyed. Finding places to eat is a difficult thing in a foreign country. You really don’t know how your digestive system is going to react to local food. We stumbled across a restaurant near Petion-ville in an area that had very little damage. This place was like a café serving sandwiches on fresh baguette, pizza, some crepe concoction, and a variety of assorted foods. Lunch served as another opportunity to quietly show my interest.

Joe went ahead to order his food as her and I stood together. Slyly, I asked her what she would like. “Whatever you’re having,” was the easiest response I could have asked for. As I had eaten in the Embassy several times, I remembered a couple of the translations. So we ordered a simple lunch, ham and cheese on baguette. The crepe thing looked kind of interesting so I ordered one of those too. Lunch came and went with no new insight. I still couldn’t tell if I had sparked her interest! I did, however, know that she did allow me to buy her lunch. The conversation over lunch was good. We talked and laughed. I noticed her smile again. “This girl makes a military uniform look good; her smile is absolutely breath-taking; and I probably have no chance in hell here,” I thought to myself.

Heading back to the base was a chore because traffic was a complete nightmare. The conversation was plentiful abundant, though. Joe’s skills in the department led to an interesting question about finding a cuddle buddy for the deployment. She told us it was an application process, kind of like an open casting call. That type of ambiguous answer set the tone; she was definitely single! My intuition said this might be an invitation. I took note and was determined to find out later.

This was no typical first date. We had a chaperon in a city that we really didn't know, wearing military uniforms on top of it. Actually, I had no idea this was a first date at the time. I was going with the flow of the day. My only frustration was I wanted to focus on her, but I knew I couldn't alienate Joe like that. I also didn't want to be a cock block if her true interest was with him. A world of variables existed behind a door, and only she had the key. The day was going pretty well. While I wasn't sure what direction she was heading, she at least let me buy her lunch.

Part 4: Best and Most Unique Date Ever (1 of 2)

She got the approval to leave; her team had her covered. My friend was going to be driving around, and he needed passengers. I guess you could say that we had a chaperone that day. I didn’t see it that way then. My buddy, who happens to be named Joe also, has a very strong personality. It was great because I could sit and watch how she reacted to the things he said. While I didn’t feel in control of the situation, I learned a lot that would come to play later. The more she talked, the more interested I got. I sat in the front seat and couldn’t look at her while she talked, but I promise she had my attention.

February 5 is a memory now, but it was the greatest day I had in a very long time, maybe ever. We drove through Port-au-Prince with only the purpose of sightseeing. Joe knew what was going on and assisted as only a good friend could.

His assistance managed to throw me for a loop. I genuinely had no idea with whom she had taken an interest. Joe’s personality lead conversations to a variety responses, with my mind swirling at the end. As an analyst at heart, I will pick apart every situation and look at it from every angle. For the life of me, I couldn’t get a solid read on her. I kept thinking about her reactions and answers. I thought she was giving me hints, but I didn’t want to look too far into something. I was so damned confused at this point; but I also knew already she had the ability to crush me.

Part 3: The Lighter

Her and her crew were being evicted from their stairwell. My supervisory had heard about this and swayed leadership to allow them to take refuge at our headquarters. They basically supported our mission, so it made sense. Imagine the surprise on my face the first time I walked into the operations center and she was seated behind a table working her mission! I was at a loss for words. In fact, I am pretty sure that I turned around and walked outside to smoke a cigarette, or three. Luckily, I had been quick-thinking. I noticed her she had an iPhone in front of her. Just so happens that AT&T had formally announced the Haiti Relief Plan, allowing for no extra charges for US persons in Haiti. While it had been rumored for some time, I had received confirmation a day or so prior.

She did it to me again! My memories of these initial encounters are cloudy. I was so captivated by her that I had no idea if I was scoring any points or not. I had no idea whether she was being interested in me, what I was saying, or just tolerating the fact that I was talking to her. Seriously, a woman as beautiful as her must get irritated with the amount of guys that try to chat her up.

To this point, I have made mention several times of her beauty. Her intellect and personality compliment her beauty in such a way that leaves me completed floored to this day. I take numerous smoke breaks throughout the day. I would walk past her workstation and steal a glance on my way out. One day, I know she’s outside so I get up to go too.

As I walked by, she said, “Sir… Sir, do you have a lighter?”

“Yes, but please don’t call me ‘Sir” ever again,” I said.

“Ok, then what should I call you?”

“How about ‘Joe’”

I gave my full attention to this conversation that lasted the length of a cigarette. She told me how she didn’t really let people see her smoke, and how she wanted to go out into Port-au-Prince to see the city. I told how I had been out a few times and that it looked pretty bad out there. I told her that I could possibly take her out with me the next time I went. At the time, I was in and out of the operations center where she worked. I used my varied presence as an excuse to request her phone number, which she kindly gave. I walked away on cloud 9! There was no amount stupidity that could possibly have ruined my day. I had to stay grounded, though. I couldn’t let her see me overeager, anxious, or even slightly befuddled. I had projected calm, cool, and collected (or so I thought), and was determined to maintain this edge. It was not very long after, a couple days maybe, which the ‘date’ occurred.

Part 2: Bananas

Bananas… Two of the guys in my office did not get lost. Yet, they found themselves in the middle of the countryside. They brought back some the locals fruit, including a gigantic branch of bananas. Secretly, we thought these two had done one of the funniest things we had seen in the country weeks we had all been in country. Here, it was, my opportunity! There was no hot or fresh food being served at this point. I saw the bananas as a way I could garner some attention. The banana guys didn’t care what happened to the bananas, as long as they were gone before they spoiled. Four girls, then I need four bananas. As a safety measure, I ate one and waited a couple hours. I couldn’t get the kudos I was after if I gave them food poisoning, could I. As was well with my digestive process, so I moved forward. I removed four bananas on my way out of the office. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach and was hoping that I could exert some control in order to make it through the delivery. I kept telling myself that I would probably still be a little intimidated by herself and her body guards even if I had consumed some liquid courage. No sooner did I finish wrestling with that thought, I was on the same landing as them. This is where my memory gets a little blurry. Everything happened so quickly. My mouth was moving before my brain could catch up. I remember saying, “I hope you girls like bananas.” Talk about the ultimate unintended innuendo! “Aww, thank you,” is all I heard. I exited as quickly as I could because I could feel the rouge coloring my cheeks. As the door closed behind, she informed her crew that she was ‘calling dibs.’ Dibs is the process by which one person verbally asserts their intention to attain something tangible. In the animal kingdom, it’s similar to a dog urinating on a fire hydrant to mark its territory.

My mission had evolved. I would no longer be working in the same building as her. As crushing as this was, I knew that these circumstances were beyond my control. I had no idea what strings I needed to pull in order to ensure this wasn’t my last meeting.

Fate and karma are funny things. I had assumed that after years of douche baggery on my part that I would never be able to have legitimate happiness. While I changed my ways some time ago, I still felt that I was continuing to reap what I had sown years ago. The course of events that follow are truly contradictory to my theory.

Part 1: The First Days

I noticed in the next couple days that she and her crew had set up shop in a stairwell on the third floor. Now, there were several staircases I would have taken to get to my 4th floor office. I chose hers because I could see her and hope that maybe, she would talk to me or say something. I don’t mean to come off as a stalker, but let’s be real here. Guys will look for any reason to get the attention of a woman they find attractive. I would use this stairwell as my way into a conversation. The only question was, “how?”
Her job was to exploit full motion video images downloaded from an aircraft that flew overhead. As an intelligence officer myself, I found my in. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of how to start a conversation with her and only her. Her crew was made of three other females and two males. It’s a very delicate situation to enter when you’re outnumbered by what looked like the surrounding guard force. I spend countless cigarettes on the roof of the building trying to think how to conversationally find a path. Every now and then, she would come up to the roof with one of her fellow crewmembers. I remember hoping on numerous occasions they would come with range so I could strike up a conversation; one body guard was easy to deal with than five any day of the week. But just when I would hide my cigarette and look up trying to spit something out, God, anything out, they would disappear behind some rooftop apparatus. I hid my cigarette because I was trying to make a good impression. Little did I know, but she was hiding her smoking from me. Her rooftop endeavors were to satisfy the same physiological addiction that gripped me. I used that staircase much more than I ever had to, sometimes going out of my way just to get a glimpse and sustain my hope she was take notice of me. What I didn’t know was that she had.